"Are those two people over there actually my REAL parents?"
- Laurie Anderson in "Another Day In America"
Aemen and I are about to be parents any day. She is fully pregnant, past her due date, and growing in anticipation as each day presents a new sensation that may be labor and that veil between the worlds, like her cervix, gets thinner and thinner slowly initiating this new soul into a human body and a human world. I had the feeling one day that we come from a magical spirit place and when we're born our minds keep us from remembering the details of that world. A dear friend of ours then had a similar insight, separate from mine, and felt the baby asking her (through the astral plane) for a specific crystal. So she bought it and brought it to our home so that the baby will have a physical object that, hopefully, will help them remember some things for the spirit world as they grow and live on a physical plane that, for most children, can feel strange and mundane - especially for the institutionalized children in the public school systems!
I sit back and cry sometimes out of happiness and relief that my child is being born into a community of spiritual, artist, and creative people who weave magic into their daily lives and honor the sacred feminine of the Goddess through Earth rituals and overall constant appreciation and blessings.
I was raised in the suburbs. I was raised around hospitals, schools, the news, fast food, shopping malls, corporations and, besides my mother keeping my spirit alive as best she could, there was no magic. I remember the strong feeling that my family is not my real family. I had a walk-in when I was 16 which is when another spirit, or your higher self, steps into your body and mind so that you can follow your true path or higher calling. It's like waking up. I remember it. I remember waking up and thinking " Oh wow, here I am! Was my entire life a dream?". I actually felt reconnected to my child self. The imaginative, hopeful, innocent, pansexual creature that just loved people, life, and felt loved by people and life. I immediately left home and embarked on a journey to find my Rainbow Family.
I knew that my Rainbow Family was in New York City. I knew my whole life. After a few years of trial and error, lots of hardship, lots of therapy, and lots of fun I found Aemen Bell at, of all places, an herbal apothecary. We connected immediately. I remember feeling like we played together as kids and had been reunited as adults again - even though we'd never met before then. The magical thing was that she sold her gem essences in a store in a whole other state and town that I happened to apprentice in several years before I even moved to New York City and met her. You see, the great Spirit was already weaving the tapestry for me to fall into my Rainbow Family.
Aemen taught me a lot about the Rainbow Family. It's your true family, your spirit family. Our blood families bring us here. It's their job to call us in from the stars and manifest us into physical form, care for us, and let us blossom into who and what we want to be. Often times, our blood families do not understand our spirits, interests, or even us. The Rainbow Family always does. The Rainbow Family is the friend that you feel you already know well without speaking. The person who lets you explore every deep and dark corner of yourself without judgement or fear. The person who doesn't load expectations or guilt on you. Your Rainbow Family is connected to their Spirits and understands that you're just reuniting again on this Earthly plane.
For some of you who are lucky enough to have the Rainbow Family in your bloodlines - celebrate them! It is a beautifully rare occurrence and should be nurtured and appreciated. For those of you who know you don't belong or you're simply not getting what you need emotionally and spiritually from your family, just divorce them. Walk away from whatever arrangement you think you should be fulfilling and only meet them where you can. If you can only nod while they talk about the news throughout dinner, then nod away. Find love where you can, but don't expect love from where you can't. The insanity, the pain, the trauma - all these things come from trying to force someone to love you a specific way. Leave the guilt behind of abandoning your family and embrace the pleasure of growing wings and flying into the big rainbow hug of your new community and family.
I knew finding Aemen was a big deal. We've been insuperable for over 5 years (even when we couldn't stand the sight of each other) and we both moved to Woodstock to find a community, our Rainbow Family. We found more than we could ever wish for. We found endless colorful people who's hearts are so deep, full, and resounding with pure unconditional love for us and these gorgeous mountain lands where we reside. It feels like a tribe. It is like a tribe.
Go, find your tribe.