It's so easy to mistaken an angel for a villain. It's like when someone says "it was a blessing in disguise". The same is true for angels. They don't always remember what they're doing here, why they're here, or what their purpose is. You may be one of them. They may be clad in white, nearly hovering over the ground with a serene smile that awakens us from our hopeless slumbers OR they may look like Nicholas Cage in some familiar Meg Ryan romantic drama about mortality, walking through the city streets with trench coats sun glasses, and unremarkable hairlines. We experience them every day, but I doubt they fit either of the above descriptions.
They're usually the angry boss, volatile ex-lover, abusive parent, school bully - someone who is creating such an intense environment that it forces us to reconcile parts of us and quickly leave for a more harmonious situation. I once had a job with an extremely toxic boss & for one whole year, each day that went by felt like an eternal Hell that would never end. Aemen said "Remember when you place garlic over a wart & the wart dies and falls out? He is your garlic". A smelly, sulfurous, burning, intense, bulbous....yeah - sounds like him!
So I thought about it more and decided that, yes, he was my angel. He was showing me that I reached my limit, that I had graduated from that part of my life. I could keep taking the same test every day, wearing the same clothing, and expecting the same outcome or I could use what I had learned and turn it into something new, uncharted, scary, and invigorating.
Well, that's just what I did. I created my own business with my own rules, my own schedule, and my own dress code. I was empowered, happy, broke as hell, and completely re-inspired. He was my angel. He was taking on all the parts of myself that I had run from in the past or that I still struggled with, my shadow or "dark" parts, and he was bringing them to the light.
This is what an angel does. They, usually unbeknownst to them, are brought into our lives to live out in an intense, concentrated fashion everything we hate or fear about ourselves. They show it to the public and to us. We, of course, recoil from them, gossip about them, dislike them, and, because of this, are continuously surrounded by them because, until we love them, we will never escape them. Because we can never escape ourselves.
Life is reflective. Angels are depicted as white, glowing lights - like mirrors. They are, in fact, walking mirrors. When we dislike someone or feel so invaded by someone, it is because we are being confronted with the parts of ourselves that are vulnerable, weak, and hidden. These angels are living a hard life. They are embodying little parts of us all the time. It's a full time job for them. It doesn't have to be for us.
Sending them love sends us love and then that part of ourselves that felt ugly, horrible, or ashamed can feel love. This is true unconditional love and it nourishes us to the core more than any food ever could. Like smoke from Sage, it frees that part of ourselves into the air, the ether, the cosmos and creates space within us for intervention.
Who are your angels?